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Here’s my list of the top 20 Heavy Metal releases in 2008. If you agree, leave a comment. If you disagree, leave a comment - and fuck you.
20. Zimmer’s Hole - “While You Were Shouting At the Devil, We Were In League With Satan”
These guys get points for referencing both Motley Crue and Venom in one album title. Musically, they are close cousins to drummer, Gene Hoglan’s, other project, Strapping Young Lad (okay, actually SYL is guitar-wizard, Devon Townsend’s baby, but Gene leaves his inimitable stamp on everything he does). A mixture of thrash, death, and black metal with some proggy-leanings tempered by ample amounts of Canadian humor. At times brutal and hilarious. You can’t go wrong with Zimmer’s Hole.
19. Cavalera Conspiracy - “Inflikted”
The Brothers Cavalera, Max and Igor, patched up their decade-long fued and got back together this year, first with Igor sitting in on drums for some live Soulfly gigs, and then going into the studio to record this thrashterpiece of metal, leading some people to believe that the inevitable reunion of the classic Sepultura line-up was close at hand. Well, that may or not be so (I’m voting “not”) but in the meantime this is about as close to that ground-breaking Sepultura sound as we’re likely to get. And, in any case, it’s always a joyous occasion when two people can set aside their differences and, once again, learn to love…the Metal!
18. Belphegor - “Bondage Goat Zombie”
Again with the awesome titles! Belphegor describe their particular brand of extreme metal as “Supreme Death/Black Metal Art”. Okay, guys. All I know is that it is heavy, fast and scary. And they make me laugh, which is always a plus. In fact, that’s what got them on the Top 20 list! I mean, how seriously can you take song titles such as “Shred For Sathan” or “Sexdictator Lucifer”?
17. Motörhead - “Motörizer”
No surprise here. Lemmy & Co. deliver their 19th studio effort with little to differentiate it from the other 18 - and that’s the way we like it. Kick ass, heavy rock ‘n’ roll with the trademark Lemmy rasp and that beautiful distorted bass pounding your eardrums. This line-up with Phil Campbell on guitar and Mikkey Dee on drums has proved stable and, in fact, have been cranking out records longer than the original trio of Lemmy, Fast Eddie and Philthy Animal Taylor. All hail the mighty Motörhead!
16. Exodus - “Let There Be Blood”
This rerecording of Exodus’s debut album, “Bonded By Blood” rips the face off the original. Mainly due to better production and new vocalist, Rob Dukes, relentless throat-shredding voice. I know I’m in the minority, but original vocalist, Paul Baloff (R.I.P.), just never did it for me. Especially after watching the video from the 1985 concert with Slayer and Venom at Studio 54. He just seemed like a fat douchebag who needed excessive reverb on his vocals to get his delivery across. Actually, I’m not that huge a fan of Dukes, either, but the last three Exodus albums have been pretty brutal and his vocal style suits the material that Gary Holt has been writing in the last few years. Exodus breaths new life into some old classics. Some love it, some hate it. I love it.
15. Metal Church - “This Present Wasteland”
2008 was a good year for veteran metal bands. “This Present Wasteland” contains everything you want from Metal Church - it’s heavy, yeah, but you also get some amazing technical riffage and tons o’ melody. Current vocalist, Ronny Munroe, has that classic metal feel and really delivers. Okay, so guitarist and founding member, Kurdt Vanderhoof, is the sole remaining original member, but since Metal Church has been his baby from the beginning we won’t pick nits here.
14. Swallow The Sun - “Plague of Butterflies”
Finland’s Swallow The Sun make me want to kill myself - in a good way, of course. The opening track on “Plague of Butterflies” is almost 35 minutes long - if you make it through that alive, you’re in for some astounding music. Beyond your typical doom metal, these guys incorporate lengthy stretches of aural soundscape that send chills down your spine and make you think that you’re stuck in the same snowbound shed in the oppresive dark Finland winter that must have influenced the recording of this album. Utterly amazing.
13. Warbringer - “War Without End”
The recent thrash resurgence has been mocked by some (posers) and championed by others (me) and Warbringer continues to lead the pack with “War Without End”. All you need to know, really, is that these guys worship at the altar of 80’s Bay Area thrash (Exodus, Testament, Death Angel and Metallica when they mattered) and that they like their pants pegged and their footwear Nike. Plenty of denim and leather to go around here. Their next album is being produced by Gary Holt of Exodus if you need any more credentials. Quit bitching about them being “retro” and shut up and bang your head against the stage like you did back in ‘87.
12. Motley Crue - “Saints of Los Angeles”
Okay, I like Motley Crue. There - I said it. Of all the glammed-out hair bands that came off Hollywood’s Sunset Strip, the Crue are really the only ones that walked the walk and talked the talk (okay, there’s W.A.S.P., too - but really, that’s it). The thing is, this is a really good rock ‘n’ roll record. Parts of it are pretty heavy and it’s better than anything that came between “Shout At The Devil” and “Dr. Feelgood”. I like the fact that these sleazy mutherfuckers are still offending the sensibilities of people who claim to be into rock ‘n’ roll in this late year of 2008. Oh, and did you know that Nikki Sixx died once? Just ask him, he’ll tell you…over and over.
11. Death Angel - “Killing Season”
I actually took points off for the unimaginative album title but the music inside more than makes up for it. One of the second wave of Bay Area thrash bands from the 80’s, Death Angel came back with a vengeance a few years ago and have been consistently putting out some quality, face-lacerating thrash ever since. Highlights from this one include the tracks “Sonic Beatdown” and the epic “Resurrection Machine”. DA recently lost original bass-player, Dennis Pepa - let’s hope they can find a suitable replacement and rock on into 2009.
10. Agalloch - “The White”
Following up 2004’s EP, “The Grey”, Portland, Oregon’s Agalloch make ambient noise that would make you think they hailed from Swallow The Sun’s neck of the dark, wintry, Finnish woods. I don’t know why I like this kind of music so much, but I do. Maybe because it makes good background music with which to write. Anyway, if your psyche can take it this album it is quite stunning.
9. Ihsahn - “AngL”
Ihsahn is the former vocalist for black metal pioneers, Emperor. His music is progressive and challenging and incredibly good. I was skeptical, not being much of an Emperor fan, but “AngL” delivers on many levels and it’s good to see that someone who’s been in the business for so long is still capable of writing music that is both original and complex, yet still rocks with an undeniably metal heart.
8. Obituary - “Left To Die”
Apt title, as a few years ago we all thought we’d be reading Obituary’s obituary in the…uh…obituaries. Anyway, they’re back and ready to kill. John Tardy’s vocals still make my throat hurt with sympathetic spasms and the music is just as heavy and sludgy as ever. How Florida ever influenced the first American wave of death metal is still beyond me, but I’m glad it did and let’s hope Obituary doesn’t disappear again.
7. Gojira - “The Way of All Flesh”
These guys had two strikes against them from the get-go: they’re French and they are proponents of the global warming scam. But despite those two glaring errors they have managed to endear themselves to me and have made one of the undeniably great metal albums of 2008, if not of the whole decade so far. “The Way of All Flesh” combines so many elements it’s hard to categorize Gojira. Are they thrash? Blackened death? Progressive power speed? I don’t know. I don’t care. What I do know is that this album absolutely kills. Get it immediatlely. And I’m just kidding about the French thing…
6. Testament - “The Formation of Damnation”
I was not really a fan of Testament back in the day. About the time they were hitting their stride I was getting more into bands like Black Flag and the Melvins. Well, time has proved me a fool. Testament stands alone as the masters of Bay Area thrash - even beyond Exodus and leagues beyond those Metallicats. Their music has gone on a metal rollercoaster, going from pure thrash to some experimental, almost industrial sounds tinged with death metal influences in the 90’s. But with the return of original guitar whiz-kid, Alex Skolnik, Testament roared back to reclaim their thrash throne in 2008 with “The Formation of Damnation”. Check out my review from earlier this year.
5. Alice Cooper - “Along Came A Spider”
Alice has been quietly releasing some of the best rock ‘n’ roll of his career in the past few years and this one is no exception. Embracing his past, Alice has created a knock-out concept album that encompasses various styles, not just classic heavy metal, but the fuzzed-out guitar sound of his very early records and a little bit of modern-day studio trickery. The story concerns a serial-killer known as “The Spider” and Alice brings the story to life with his trademark sneering vocals and sick and twisted lyrics. Fuck you, Marilyn Manson. You have not stood the test of time. Bow down before the King of Shock Rock - the one and only, Alice Fucking Cooper.
4. Hellhammer - “Demon Entrails”
Oh how I rejoiced when these demos were finally made available to us this year. If you don’t know the legend of Hellhammer than you’re just not metal enough - sorry, kiddies. But don’t despair, you can read my review of “Demon Entrails” from earlier this year. Thank you, oh thank you, Tommy G.!
3. Strapping Young Lad - “The Chaos Years - 1994-2006″
The band you just can’t pin down. This compilation captures SYL in all their confusing glory and contains many of their best tracks, including “All Hail the New Flesh”, “You Suck” and “Satan’s Ice Cream Truck”. Also includs a DVD recorded at 2006’s Download Festival. SYL is now considered “defunct” as the brains behind the band, Devin Townsend, sits in seclusion somewhere in Vancouver, Canada. Let’s hope 2009 sees some new material, if not from SYL at least from Townsend. The world needs more twisted geniuses like him.
2. The Sword - “Gods of the Earth”
The Sword dish out the classic metal like nobody’s business. And when I say “classic” I’m not talking about power metal or anything remotely connected with NWOBHM - I’m talking good old Sabbath-influenced, stoner-tinged whomp and stomp. “Gods of the Earth” contains so much pounding metal you could use it to build a skyscraper. This is not stoner rock in the vein of Kyuss or Fu Manchu, this is undeniably quintessential heavy metal the way it should be played. Highlights include “The Frost Giant’s Daughter” and “To Take the Black”. I have not stopped playing this album since it came out, except to alternate between the album that takes the Number 1 slot…
1. AC/DC - “Black Ice”
That’s right. If you know me, this is no surprise. The Thunder from Down Under return from a seven-year hiatus to bring us their best album since 1981’s “For Those About To Rock”. Holy shit, folks - this may well be the last hurrah from these guys so get it, enjoy it and don’t give me any shit about WalMart. Musically it’s…wait, what am I saying? It’s fucking AC/DC! Angus and Malcolm have crafted some of the most kick-ass ROCK in recent years and show the little kids and pretenders to the throne how it’s supposed to be done. Brian Johnson’s voice has not sounded this good since the afore-mentioned “For Those About…” and shows that, at 61, he can hold his own with contemporaries Lemmy, Ozzy, Alice and Iggy. If the band does indeed go out on this album they will be going out on a high-note. AC/DC…there is none better.
I would also like to give “Honorable Mention” to Ross The Boss’s “New Metal Leader” - an outstanding album that I just couldn’t quite fit into the Top 20. Call it Number 21.
Happy New Year, everbody!
Now Gene Simmons pipes in, toward the end of 
