When I was but a wee King D, I used to pester my parents into buying bubblegum cards every time we ended up at a 7-11 (remember when trading cards actually came with bubblegum?  Or, to be more specific - rock-hard, pink chalk that would maybe make a bubble if you chewed eight or nine pieces simultaneously).  Mostly I got Star Wars cards because I was never into sports, but at the tail end of '78, the marketing genius that is Greed…er…I mean, Gene Simmons, unleashed these goodies upon the world:  KISS bubblegum cards!

Because being the featured pin-up in 16 Magazine on a weekly basis was just not enough!!!

Anyway, as a short trip down memory lane, I thought I'd display my ALL-TIME FAVORITE KISS Bubblegum cards.  And, yes, most of them are of Ace Frehley…

The sad part of this story is that along about 1982 or so, I figured I was growing out of my infatuation with KISS and getting into more "serious" music, so I sold my entire KISS bubblegum card collection to a guy named Mike (I barely knew him then but later we became best friends, ironically) for a dollar.  That's right - one stinkin' dollar!  (He would never let me buy them back, either - but he did condescend to give me my three favorite Ace cards, which I have to this day).

So, we're all in agreement that KISS is basically just bubblegum music, right?  I mean, the proof is right above, staring us in the face…

So you were sitting in your room, in your mom’s basement, the other day, listening to an illegally downloaded copy of your favorite Cryptic Carnage album, Rozelowe, and thinking “I really need some new METAL tshirts.”

Maybe a Death Angel shirt or that “Christians to the Lions” Behemoth shirt you have always wanted.

But your local headshop doesn’t carry the Black/Death/Doom Metal band shirts that you desire. They seem to be limited to Slipknot and Lamb of God.

Metal Merchant does.

No I haven’t ordered anything from them and their prices are listed in Euros, and then in USD, but what the hell, they look legit.
They might kick your ass on shipping.
No big deal.
Its metal.

They carry CDs, DVDs, Vinyl and other stuff too.

Someone order something and tell me how it goes.

PS. If i find someone with an affiliate program that I can hook up to ClodsOfSodom.com, I'll be endorsing them instead.

Metallica and Me Part Three: Butt Pride

From the song Where Ever I May Roam – Metallica’s Black Album

 Words and Music by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich 

 “…And the road becomes my bride

 I have stripped of all but pride 

 So in her I do confide 

 And she keeps me satisfied 

 Gives me all I nreed” 

 I can’t hear this lyric without replacing the words “all but pride” with “all butt pride”. 

 Pride in ones butt.  Isn’t that one of the 7 deadly sins? 

I can’t help but(t) wonder what was going on in the studio, no one was giggling like a pack of 5^th grade boys making poop jokes while Hetfield was yelling “all butt pri-da”?

“Uh, take 27, Mr. Hetfield, better sing that lyric again, heh heh”

This was a band once compared to the Great Slayer and the Mighty Megadeath.

The band responsible for Kill ‘Em All, Ride the Lightening, and Master of Puppets.

Butt then.. Butt Pride.

ADMIN UPDATE 5/27/08
Looks like someone's lawyers are hard at word
If anyone has this video, please contact us clodsofsodom@gmail.com

Is this serious, Bruce? What about the part in Motley Crue's book, "The Dirt", where they talk about smoking hash with Maiden on the tour bus in 1985? Tell me you were just fucking around!

My Maiden experience is only a week away…
Um…Up the Irons…?

It was once rumored that the 74 minute CDR length was specifically set to be sure to be able to hold Beethoven's 9th Symphony in its entirety. (snopes.com)

I think it’s more likely the devil made it that length to be able to fit Slayer's Reign in Blood on a CDR twice.

Try it, it fits quite nicely

If you are feeling a bit down, I know what will pick you up

4 minutes and 15 seconds of MANOWAR

They said hold your head up high
Raise your fist up in the air
Play Metal louder than Hell
Louder than Hell

They can't stop us
Let 'em try
For Heavy Metal
We will die!

I will finish re-posting the old posts today and then maybe some new content
We lost the comments, so make some new ones
I have started splitting some of the posts up into ‘Categories’. They are listed on the left side under the shameless Myspace Plug.
In the next week, I’m hoping to get some profiles up for our bloggers and maybe a CafePress Store up so you can order your very own Clods Of Sodom Tshirt and coffee mug.
I like the header logo but I’m hoping to rework it with a skull in it too. Maybe some flames. Maybe a guitar. We’ll see.
Until then…
METAL

Judas Priest - “Sad Wings of Destiny” (1976)

“Sad Wings of Destiny” is a landmark metal album for a myriad of reasons, not the least being that the cover art by Patrick Woodroffe introduced us to the prong-like “Judas Priest Cross” that was adopted by the band as a symbolic representation, much like Iron Maiden’s mascot “Eddie” or the use of the pentagram for bands like Venom and a fledgling Motley Crue. But SWOD also saw Priest taking a mega-leap in their songwriting, from the pedestrian latent-hippie semi-psychedelic hard rock of their debut, “Rocka Rolla”, to an emphatically heavy metal aural landscape of dueling lead guitars and guitar harmonies over which vocalist, Rob Halford, soars, distancing himself from any other singer of the era. Song titles foreshadow the obsessions of countless metal bands to come: “Tyrant”; “Genocide; “The Ripper” and “Epitaph” signify an allegiance with the dark side and forever changed the landscape of metal imagery. But the highlight of the album belongs to the incredible, “Victim of Changes”, still a staple of the band’s live set, as I was honored to personally behold when they co-headlined 2005’s Ozzfest with fellow Birminghammer’s, Black Sabbath.

Motörhead - “Ace of Spades” (1980)

Lemmy & Co.’s fourth studio album cemented them as legends of hard rock and set the standard for every self-respecting Metalhead to come. Faster, louder and dirtier than anything previously unleashed upon the public, Motörhead hit their stride on “Ace of Spades” with Lemmy’s lyrics exhorting the joys of every vice he can possibly…eh…enjoy. Underage girls, shooting your enemy in the back, forbidden lizard-love and tubes of superglue all get the thumbs-ups from Mr. Kilmister and crew. “Fast” Eddie Clarke and “Philthy” Phil (Animal) Taylor provide a frantic backdrop of amplified aggression over Lemmy’s overdriven bass as they take Chuck Berry to the extreme. The title song says it all: “You know I’m going to lose/and gambling’s for fools/but that’s the way I like it, baby/I don’t wanna live forever”.

Iron Maiden - “Killers” (1981)

Tha amazing thing about Iron Maiden’s second album, “Killers”, is not just that it’s good, it’s that it’s so damn good. Then again, maybe it isn’t all that surprising. After all, Black Sabbath’s second album, “Paranoid” is still believed by most to be the band’s pinnacle. Many believe Metallica never topped their sophomore effort, “Ride the Lightning”. And of course Slayer’s “Hell Awaits” is no slouch of an album. Still, “Killers” sounds remarkably like a band that’s been around the block a few times, when in reality, they had really only been around the English pub circuit. There remains a great divide to this day between the legions of fans who proclaim vocalist, Bruce Dickenson, who joined the band after this album, the second-coming - perhaps inferior only to the previously-mentioned Halford and legendary mystic-dwarf, Ronnie James Dio. But there is another die-hard contingent who actually prefer the more street-level vocals of original singer Paul Di’Anno. A playful punk, Di’Anno would have been out of place on later Maiden albums, which explored such topics as Egyptian mythology, 17th century romantic poetry and paens to lonely marathon runners. At the time of “Killers”, Maiden was still firmly ensconced in a horror-movie world of Rue Morgues, subway killers and as the title of one track suggests, the “Twilight Zone”, and Di’Anno’s vocals suit these subjects well. “Killers” also marks the debut of long-running second lead guitarist, Adrian Smith and the interplay between Smith and co-lead guitarist, Dave Murray, took Priest’s Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing guitar innovation up a notch. Of course, bassist and main songwriter, Steve Harris, established himself as a genius with this album. Up the Irons!

Van Halen - “Van Halen” (1978)

Everything changed in 1978. Suddenly, Ted Nugent no longer cut it for aspiring hard rock guitarists. Ace Frehley was still a beloved figure but he wasn’t exactly blazing new trails. Lest you think that all the formative metal was coming out of jolly old England, consider that America’s sunny west coast was offering up a homemade (and incredibly potent) brew of their own, that featured guitar pyrotechnics the likes of which no one had ever experienced before. Eddie Van Halen’s hands seemed possessed and his solos sent chills down the spine. And who was this amusing, acrobatic ego-maniac that was shouting at us that he’d like to be our “Ice Cream Man”, or declaring himself an “Atomic Punk”, whilst simultaneously being able to show us his tender, thoughtful side on tracks like “Little Dreamer”. Of course, he’s right back at it with “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” only to do another 180 and sing about his own lecherous nature from his victim’s point of view on “Jamie’s Cryin”. Hugely influential, Van Halen set the standards for good-timin’ American metal bands to come, like Motley Crue and…um…well, maybe it’s best to stop there. But Eddie’s guitar playing spread like disease until every metal guitarist worth his salt had to know how to do “hammer-ons” or risk being laughed off stage. “If you want it got to PLEAD FOR IT, baby!”