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When I came across their first album, 1984’s “War and Pain”, in the old Tower Records in Tacoma, I knew I had something special. It took me years to fully understand it and by then the band had outdistanced me and were off to other planets, other dimensions and other bass players, but that’s to their credit. I bought a copy (eight dollars and 98 cents would buy you a sweet piece o’ vinyl in those days), took it home and put it on the turntable. What came out of the speakers was not what I expected. But then, what had I been expecting? Another Slayer clone or third-rate Metallica? Probably. But I wasn’t very discerning then, anyway, and a third-rate Metallica was still better than the unholy Boy George/Michael Jackson/Duran Duran triumvirate that dominated radio and MTV at the time. After all, I did own cassettes like Thrust’s “Fist Held High” (with the non-classic “Poser Will Die”), Omen’s “Battle Cry” and even some band called Vyper that looked like typical L.A. Hair Metal dudes trying to go in a more Power Metal direction.
So, “War and Pain”…
Chances are I would have played it a few times and then sold it along with Thrust, Omen and Vyper to the local second-hand record store for dope money if it wasn’t anything special. But it was. It was more than special – it was unusual. To this day, I can’t think of a record that sounds anything like it (except for Voivod’s second album, “RRRÖÖÖAAARRR”, but even by then the band was already stretching its black, leathery wings to include strange bits of cybernetic horror and mechanized paranoia). The closest comparison I can come to is maybe Motörhead on acid or possibly some weird Venom/Germs hybrid filtered through a science fiction junkie’s brain. It sure as hell was the noisiest record I’d ever heard. At times the band sounds barely in control of their own songs and guitarist Piggy’s masterful use of dissonant chords, echo-effects and over-the-top distortion makes his guitar seem like one of the Machineries of Death that vocalist, Snake, keeps screaming about as if he keeps waking up in the middle of a nightmare only to discover that everything he ever feared has come true. Original bass player, Blacky (appropriately listed as playing “Blower Bass” on the album) rumbles underneath with the second most distinguishable bass sound in the history of Metal (number one being, of course, Lemmy) and drummer, Away (also the artist responsible for all of Voivod’s incredible and unique cover art) relentlessly hammers away with slightly-demented time-signatures in a post-apocalyptic fury.
Besides the noise, the second thing that strikes the discerning listener (or third thing, if you count the afore-mentioned amazing cover art) is the cohesion of the record. This is the debut album of a fledgling rock band—a fledgling Canadian rock band (not sure why that matters, but somehow, it does)—but already Voivod has tied everything together with a character—The Voivod himself, a future-past survivor of some cataclysmic war—and a sound that never varies while simultaneously avoiding redundancy. Even the look of the band at this time was in unison. It wasn’t quite a concept album (that wouldn’t happen until their fourth album, the brilliant masterpiece, Dimension Hatröss) but it was a concept—one that the band kept throughout their career, varying it, tweaking it and updating it but never losing sight of it.
From the opening sounds of chains being dragged agonizingly across the aural landscape while Piggy pulls some volumatic tricks on his “Burning Metal Axe”, already something is different. The noise-collage that begins the eponymous track conjures up the nuclear war-ravaged, post-apocalyptic wastelands that Voivod wanted us to envision. Then Snake (simply and correctly listed as “Throat”) kicks off a wake-up call to all those who would dare venture into those wastelands -: “VOIVOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!” - while Blacky and Away steamroll us into submission. We’re off and we’re not looking back. We may never return. Ahead of us we have “Warriors of Ice”, the “Iron Gang”, “War and Pain”, the “Black City” and “Nuclear War” (again?!!!) to look forward to. The mysterious “Blower” doesn’t bode well and “Suck Your Bone” could refer to The Hills Have Eyes-like bands of roving cannibals or perhaps there is some weird sexual connotation there—whatever, it still contains what I consider to be the single greatest line in the history of Rock ‘n’ Roll: “Go, shit, I’m not a fish!”*. And the whole thing is summed up concisely halfway through Side 2 with “Live For Violence”.
By the end of the album you’re lying in a pool of toxic sweat, smoke rising out of your ears from overload, crying tears of blood…but there is a big, goofy smile on your face just the same. Then you flip the record over and start all over again…
In later years, Voivod refined their sound and stretched the boundaries of both their and their listener’s imaginations. The raucous, blood, dirt and machinery grind of their first two slabs of mammoth noise mutated intentionally into an amazing Prog-Metal/Thrash/Psychedelic fusion that continued to challenge and dumbfound many who just couldn’t grasp their unique brilliance. But this, their first offering, remains completely belligerent and insane and heavy as all fucking get-out.
“Voivod – I’m a paranoid
Voivod – the wine of blood
Voivod – I’m a crazy god
Voivod – the ferocious dog” - “Voivod”, Voivod (music by Voivod, lyrics by Snake)
*For the exceptionally curious, the second greatest line in Rock ‘n’ Roll comes from Gene Vincent who sang “Be bop a lula, she’s my baby”…genius!
So we all agree that Joey DeMaio and the boys men of Manowar are more METAL then we could ever dream to be.
They could kick all our asses, then drive over us with their motorcycles, then play Black Wind Fire and Steel to a crowd of 40,000 screaming Brazilian METAL fans, then sleep with some really hot women and it wouldn’t even be in their top 10,000 “most METAL” days ever.
But when you are feeling down, and the thoughts that you have lost your way in the life long quest of being true METAL, remember this…
These grown men put on these ‘outfits’ and stood around in a studio waiting to get their picture taken by someone who didn’t dare laugh or even crack a smile as they got oiled by the assistants and tried to figure out if they looked tougher with a stuff animal puppet on their right hand or left hand.
Manowar, I take my cod piece off to you and salute. HAIL TRUE METAL
Big thanks to Paul at Museum Of Pop Archaeology for proudly posting this album cover on his shameless self promoting Facebook Group.
Posted by RK | Under Iron Maiden
Monday Jul 21, 2008
Yeah, the Trooper was released in 1983, but it must still be popular with the kids today.
Why else would Vans still be cranking out Iron Maiden “Trooper” Classic Sk8-Hi
Of course they also have Trooper Slip-ons and both styles in Piece of Mind and Killers flavors.
I kind of want Eddie on my shoes. See all of the Vans Iron Maiden shoes
Posted by KingDinosaur | Under ManoWar
Wednesday Jul 16, 2008
The self-appointed “Kings of Metal” - ManOwar – topped their own Guiness World Record for “Longest Heavy Metal Concert” (hey, you – stop that smirking!) by playing for five hours and one minute on July 5, in Kavarna, the “rock capital” of Bulgaria. Specially invited Guiness representatives attended the spectacle along with 20,000 true “ManOwarriors”. The band ripped through a set that spanned their entire career (how could they not? They had to play for five fuckin’ hours!) and included a classical string orchestra and a choir of the Sofia Philharmonics at the peak of the concert. Near the end of the performace, Kavarna mayor Tsonko Tsonev, known as “the Metal Mayor”, congratulated the group and thanked them for performing in his town. Of course, ManOwar vowed to return to Kavarna for another round of beer-drinking, hog-riding, sword-wielding, maiden-deflowering, blood-spilling, fist-thrusting, flag-waving, loincloth-wearing, muscle-oiling, mustache-growing, string-orchestra-plagiarizing, Satan-mentioning, DVD-filming, Odin-loving, motherfucking METAL.
Oh, yeah – they also performed the hella-rockin’ BULGARIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM!!!
In other news, ManOwar has announced that their next record will be released in conjunction with a novel, an interactive game and a feature-length film all linked by the same theme.
Posted by KingDinosaur | Under Essential Metal
Wednesday Jul 16, 2008
Black Sabbath’s new box-set entitled “The Rules of Hell” is now available. Containing all three Dio-era studio albums plus the double-disc “Live Evil” album in their newly remastered state, this is a “must have” for any self-respecting headbanger. Yes, we all love Ozzy and know that the original Sabbath kicks everyone’s ass, but never snub your nose at the mighty collaboration between Tony Iommi and the Diminutive One, Ronnie James Dio. This is pure, unadultered METAL, people.
I’m not sure what The Fucking Wrath smokes or eats for breakfast but I want some of that.
Hailing from Ventura CA, these three make some wonderful 21 Century protometal.
“To the Eels” has some great screaming thrash in the beginning and then they slip into a fucking beautiful 70’s rock rif, drop the bottom out of it, then return to the thrash.
Their myspace gives a quick band member run down and equiptment.
Distortion and tight knitted drum & bass lines, inspired screaming vocals, and blues-based guitar rifs make for some fist pumping, kick ass METAL.
Their new album ‘SEASON OF EVIL’ comes out on aug. 14th on Goodfellow Records.
I will do my damnest to get a hold of one.
And….
They fucking opened for Blue Cheer. How cool is that.
If you are in LA check out The Fucking Wrath on August, 1 2008 at the relax bar w/SOURVEIN
5511 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angeles, 90027
$10
Posted by RK | Under Too much Metal
Saturday Jul 12, 2008
I think KD mentioned these guys on a MySpace blog when stuff was all broken
I wanted to link up the trailer to the movie
Heavy Metal in Baghdad is a feature film documentary that follows the Iraqi heavy metal band Acrassicauda from the fall of Saddam Hussein in 2003 to the present day. Playing heavy metal in a Muslim country has always been a difficult (if not impossible) proposition but after Saddam’s regime was toppled, there was a brief moment for the band in which real freedom seemed possible. That hope was quickly dashed as their country fell into a bloody insurgency. From 2004-2007, Iraq disintegrated around them while Acrassicauda struggled to stay together and stay alive, always refusing to let their heavy metal dreams die. Their story echoes the unspoken hopes of an entire generation of young Iraqis.
Posted by KingDinosaur | Under Too much Metal
Tuesday Jul 8, 2008
When I was but a wee King D, I used to pester my parents into buying bubblegum cards every time we ended up at a 7-11 (remember when trading cards actually came with bubblegum? Or, to be more specific - rock-hard, pink chalk that would maybe make a bubble if you chewed eight or nine pieces simultaneously). Mostly I got Star Wars cards because I was never into sports, but at the tail end of '78, the marketing genius that is Greed…er…I mean, Gene Simmons, unleashed these goodies upon the world: KISS bubblegum cards!
Because being the featured pin-up in 16 Magazine on a weekly basis was just not enough!!!
Anyway, as a short trip down memory lane, I thought I'd display my ALL-TIME FAVORITE KISS Bubblegum cards. And, yes, most of them are of Ace Frehley…
The sad part of this story is that along about 1982 or so, I figured I was growing out of my infatuation with KISS and getting into more "serious" music, so I sold my entire KISS bubblegum card collection to a guy named Mike (I barely knew him then but later we became best friends, ironically) for a dollar. That's right - one stinkin' dollar! (He would never let me buy them back, either - but he did condescend to give me my three favorite Ace cards, which I have to this day).
So, we're all in agreement that KISS is basically just bubblegum music, right? I mean, the proof is right above, staring us in the face…
So you were sitting in your room, in your mom’s basement, the other day, listening to an illegally downloaded copy of your favorite Cryptic Carnage album, Rozelowe, and thinking “I really need some new METAL tshirts.”
No I haven’t ordered anything from them and their prices are listed in Euros, and then in USD, but what the hell, they look legit. They might kick your ass on shipping. No big deal. Its metal.
They carry CDs, DVDs, Vinyl and other stuff too.
Someone order something and tell me how it goes.
PS. If i find someone with an affiliate program that I can hook up to ClodsOfSodom.com, I'll be endorsing them instead.
From the song Where Ever I May Roam – Metallica’s Black Album
Words and Music by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich
“…And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I nreed”
I can’t hear this lyric without replacing the words “all but pride” with “all butt pride”.
Pride in ones butt.Isn’t that one of the 7 deadly sins?
I can’t help but(t) wonder what was going on in the studio, no one was giggling like a pack of 5th grade boys making poop jokes while Hetfield was yelling “all butt pri-da”?
“Uh, take 27, Mr. Hetfield, better sing that lyric again, heh heh”
This was a band once compared to the Great Slayer and the Mighty Megadeath.
The band responsible for Kill ‘Em All, Ride the Lightening, and Master of Puppets.
Disclaimer
"The opinions expressed herein are our own personal opinions.
While we are tr�e fans of Metal, this site and its content
(as are most metal bands in my opinion ) are basically satire [not Slayer].
From firstamendmentcenter.org
"Satire and parody have served for generations as a means of criticizing public figures,
exposing political injustice, communicating social ideologies, and pursuing such artistic
ends as literary criticism. Satirists usually find themselves subjected in turn to criticism,
contempt and, sometimes, lawsuits. The First Amendment protects satire and parody
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